I always wanted to be a Republican growing up. Republicans had large squishy couches and Teddy Grahams and Fruit by the Foot in their pantries. No carob chips and sun salutations at summer garden camp. No backpacking miles and miles with no bathroom in sight. Republican kids had moms who would curl their bangs before school and probably let them do indoor activities all weekend. Republicans definitely found ways to get to the nearest Olive Garden and encouraged their kids to get blonde highlights. I wished I could like George Bush, but the more I heard, the less I liked.
“I’m so misunderstood,” I thought as I looked out the dining room window, over the Christmas cactus and hand-woven Mexican rug, at the cookie cutter houses in the Helena valley, wishing I was sitting on a big L-shaped couch eating Velveeta and watching big screen TV (no PBS Kids, all Nickelodeon).
IDK why I wrote that but it’s kinda funny. Happy Midnights release week!! My current favorites in order: Anti Hero, Karma, Midnight Rain, Maroon, Lavender Haze, Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve. HBU? Bejeweled and Labyrinth are creeping up there as well.
One thing I’ll say about my beloved Taylor is that her music videos are embarrassing and that’s ok!! I just don’t watch them.
Ok, here are picks of the month!! ALSO! I have a C-Ritically Acclaimed Instagram account now, plz follow me :) And send this newsletter to your friends if you think they’d like it!
TV
Derry Girls (Netflix) - My number 1 show of the month that won in a landslide. I need to watch again because the jokes were so quick I couldn’t keep up!! It’s like Pen15 but with delightful Northern Irish girls during The Troubles Conflict. 5/5
High (Netflix) - Speaking of Irish girl and troubles and Netflix…High is a documentary about a girl from a very small town in Ireland who became a drug mule at 18 because a guy in Ibiza asked her to go pick up a package for him in Barcelona. She went to a Peruvian prison for three years, learned Spanish, and started a beauty salon in the prison. Pretty sweet coming of age story minus all the deceit, drugs, and prison! 4/5
Friend of the Family (Peacock) - Jake Lacey is so good at playing unlikeable scary guys!! I had seen the documentary about this story but this version is so much creepier because you see how it all happened right under the parents’ noses. 3/5
The Sinner Season 4 (Netflix) - Detective Harry Ambrose is retired and visiting a small town in Maine… we all know how this ends. He of course stumbles upon a crime to solve within minutes of arriving. Very good small town mystery!! 4/5
Alaska Daily (Hulu)- Hillary Swank plays a reporter who gets cancelled and is exiled to Alaska, gasp! Lots of hot people work at her small newspaper office in strip mall and they report on pressing issues. I really like it even if this description sounds snarky. 3/5
Watcher (Netflix) - not a fan!! It’s based on a fascinating, terrifying real story, but the show was so chaotic, wacky, and over the top. 2/5
Law and Order SVU, FBI, FBI International, NCIS Hawaii continue to be my comfort food procedurals! 5/5
Winter House (Bravo) is back and holding me over until my beloved Summer House returns. Craig is refusing to clean and it’s really funny. Crypto Lindsay is becoming more likable! Paige still spends most of her time gossiping in bed! 5/5
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (Bravo)- The mean girls are mean-girling hard and losing the plot!! Garcelle and Sutton are doing the best they can with this insanity. 4/5
Southern Charm (Bravo) - I think Taylor and Austen should date just sayin! 3/5
Books
Hidden Pictures by Jason Rekulak - I was sooo excited for this book. It got 4.2 stars on Goodreads! Unheard of! Stephen King liked it! It’s on lists! It has so much promise- haunted kid, young woman with complicated past moves in to nanny (Verity, much)? But it was unbelievable and interspersed with insane hateful monologues by the otherwise likable main character- so out of left field that they felt like part of the authors own political agenda. 2/5
Every Last Secret by A.R. Torre- Very quick fun thriller - two women in Atherton being wealthy country club ladies and doing quite the cat and mouse game. 4/5
Ok bye!! Talk to you soon!