Hello!
Welcome to the C-ritically Acclaimed summer 2021 edition. This is a special edition because today is my 29th birthday. I’ve had to remind many people today that it is my birthday by texting “hi….” but it’s ok, I ain’t too proud to beg. I’ve been waiting patiently for someone to post an Instagram story about my birthday, but it seems just like Facebook wall writing, that trend has fizzled. I will need to find a new way to suss out real friends v. fake friends.
This month has been very eventful and I’m not quite sure I’m up for all the socializing that’s been happening. It’s a little much. Maybe everyone should just cool it a little bit. idk.
I continued getting trendy manicures and googling “chic nail art” over and over again but then ultimately just going with light purple.
I found myself on Chery Lloyd Tik Tok and it’s the funniest thing I’ve ever experienced (exhibit A exhibit B).
I hosted a dinner party at my home (hate to brag). I did some of "You and other person have both been to Boston. Talk about that” and then later calmed down and enjoyed myself.
Had a less than ideal Bumble experience where the man said “wow, don’t have a lot written on your profile. You must have an *outstanding* personality.
I replied, thinking he was being silly and not mean “I’ll have you know I have a fabulous personality!”
He replied “wow, you are not my cup of tea. I prefer women to show some humility.” He went on to say “can I give you some advice?”
I didn’t respond.
He then sent message after message saying that as a 28-year-old, my looks are fading and I'm going to have to rely on my personality and my personality should be much more humble if I want to find someone. Little did he know, I was almost 29! Even worse!
So, I sent the snarkiest, quickest, wittiest response you could dream of! Just kidding, I deleted the app and cried lightly.
Don’t fear though, I asked my mom and stepdad where I should meet a straight male. My stepdad adamantly suggested I take a woodworking class. I’m a little flinchy to be holding a saw or whatever tool you use in a woodworking class but might as well give it a try!
Here are the thousands of things I watched this month!
TV:
Comedy
Hacks- Incredible ending!! I’m nervous about how Ava’s gonna get out of her current predicament. I will always remember Megan Stalter saying “girleh"
Starstruck- This show is Charlotte fan fiction. Girl meets boy at a New Years’ party and goes home with him only to realize he’s FAMOUS. Do they fall in love? Are they too different??
Feel Good - season 2 arrived! Mae’s character made me laugh out loud when she hid under furniture when she was about to have panic attacks.
Special- ahhhh! I can’t believe how many good shows exist. It’s exhausting. This one is about a guy living with cerebral palsy and dating for the first time ever.
Why Women Kill- ok, I’m not as excited about this one. It is very uniquely Marc Cherry but doesn’t have the same pizazz as Desperate Housewives and Devious Maids.
Drama-ish
Mare of Eastown- ew new, so much despair in one town!
Flack- Season 2 came and went. If you enjoy watching someone completely sabotage their life, watch this!
Teen melodrama
Panic- There’s a new Tim Riggins in town and his name is Jack Nicholson’s son.
Cruel Summer- TRIPLE twist finale. Wow. I’m speechless.
Gossip Girl-Wow, season 1 was GOOD! I forgot how addicting! Jeez Louise. I can’t wait for the new, woke Gossip Girl coming out in July.
Reality
Bachelor- I don’t know who anyone is yet but probably will by next week. I thought I liked the guy who dressed as a cat but he wore a very unbuttoned v-neck outfit last week with a gold necklace that was extremely off-putting.
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills- I, unfortunately, see a lot of myself in Sutton which is concerning. Kathy Hilton should have been on since season 1 but I guess live and learn.
Real Housewives of New York- This seems like an interim season for them.
Kardashian reunion— a must watch!!! Andy asks them the hard questions.
Friends reunion- concerned about Matthew P.
Movies
Plan B- very cute movie about a girl and her friend on a mission to get Plan B in the 24-hour window. It was very similar to the movie Unpregnant but I think I liked it more.
Good on Paper- I was excited about this one because it stars Ryan Hansen of my favorite show of all time Veronica Mars, but alas, it was pretty stilted and fizzled at the end.
Woman in Window- I’ve read the book twice but the movie was so bad I couldn’t finish it.
Mainstream- haunting portrayal of a guy who goes viral and becomes famous overnight. There’s a twist! It’s worth watching.
Books
The Maidens by Alex Michaelides- A British thriller about a potentially murderous professor and his fan club of young maidens who keep getting killed off! It’s by the same author who wrote Silent Patient. This one includes a dramatic twist that isn’t as well-executed. Still worth reading.
The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz - A book about a book and an author and plagiarism. It’s really critically acclaimed on NPR, etc but I haven’t gotten into it yet.
Quit Like a Woman by Holly Whitaker- I don’t mean to be dramatic, but this book changed the way I think about alcohol. I haven’t had a drink since I read it.
Ok, TTYL! Send a link to your friends who might like to subscribe! :)